Jar of hearts



A part of me broke today, a whole lot. I always knew I was emotional to a certain level until I realized that it didn’t even matter who was with me but as long as it hurt I’d let it out. I received some pretty saddening news and could not control myself. Some wise humans said so much about friendship but one things stands out for me: having someone who takes your problems as theirs and feels your pain, celebrated your joy as if they are their own. This is deep. And it means a lot.
Jogs my mind to less than a year ago when I was attending a burial and the girlfriend to the affected was so emotional, somehow even more than the direct victim of the demise. This didn’t really make sense until I found myself in that exact position.
My friend has had to go through a series of tough times and I couldn’t take the news lightly. I was unable to control my tears and they kept welling up. For a part of the day I couldn’t tell what anyone was trying to tell me. My mind was just clogged and I couldn’t imagine what he had to go through.
Sometimes we’re not even meant to understand what is happening in our lives, yet we’re the ones living in it. Sounds pretty unfair right? I don’t know, I have been fighting and battling with the thought of having the existence of an unfair God. Deep down I believe He is a just God and I know this for sure. But with whatever’s been happening, I’ve found myself asking me several questions.
All in all I am very well aware that God does not waste out experiences. That everything that happens does for a certain reason that could even be beyond our own understanding. Hence the choice to surrender. I choose to let God take control because I really cannot do this on my own. I leave Him with the sole job of guiding my every walk, talk and path.
Having God in control of my life does not mean that it’ll be any easier, absolutely not! It might even be way harder than I can imagine, but it means that I won’t have to go through anything, anything at all on my own. That He will always be by my side. Always.
This gives me hope to face each awakening day with a great attitude that despite everything that might come my way God is in control and that I need to be very patient with Him for his timing is the best.





Psalms 139 (NLT)
[13]You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body     and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
[14]Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!     Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
[16]You saw me before I was born.     Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out     before a single day had passed.
[17]How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.     They cannot be numbered!

   The beginning and the end. Both at the same time, different experiences with joy a constant.
I am grateful for everything. Yes even the bad experiences because I believe God does not waste my experiences. There isa very good reason why I had to go through what I went through at 21.
    Hello 22? I’d say you looked promising from when I was 18 and that wouldn’t even be a lie. Because you did. Still do. I am so eager to check in already. And see what you have in store for me. Good or bad, as long as the Almighty holds my hand I have my fourth person in the furnace. I can do this. And all other things, but only through Christ, who strengthens me. And will never cease. I owe my life to Him, and He alone. I owe my choices to Him. And my gratitude as well.

  I would proudly say that I’ve really grown up but I can’t quite point out when it all happened. I just know it did. My judgement, attitudes, and so much more have changed.
     I thought 20 was tough, 21 was something else. Gasps. It was that year you really can’t wait for it to end yet are still very grateful for because in the end, it’s important to make lemonade from the bitter lemons. 🙂

   There’s always something about even numbers, my favorite been 4. Do the math friend, and realize just how extra I can get, haha. When growing up, nobody warns us about the hurdles yet everyone chants about how great adulthood is. Well, so much for been prepared for the future. Maybe it’s because it’s okay to overlook the challenges sometimes and just learn to say thank you.


          Kind of enjoying that moment and forgetting life for a bit

      Live the moment, there’s a reason why it was given that name: it doesn’t last forever. Nothing in life does, as much as nothing is new under the sun. So embrace life. Travel as much as you can and treat people with as much kindness as you can.

        My prayer is to fulfill God’s will. To constantly live for and serve Him in all I do. And devote my all to Him. If it isn’t for and from God, I don’t want it. I am falling in love with Him daily and this is the best part about growing up. He is my rest!

Happy birthday to me 🙂


My little step of faith

Starting a journey, with or without or knowledge of the end and the destination , you really have no idea what you’ll face.   You may have used the route before but still, whatever you’ll face might still be a novelty. It’s almost like reading a good book, unaware of the next chapter.
The nugget is, you have to prepare before any journey. Be it packing or a simple   psychological preparation. I don’t fancy traveling, and I get quite stressed up when packing. How ironical, considering I travel so many times a year, thanks to my school timetable and unpredictability!
     This time, I’m on a different journey one where the end is in someone else’s hands. One Who is more superior than I am. A good number of people tend to think that Christianity is not worth to be  talked about today. For me, it’s more of a relationship with God, heart-to-heart connection with the Almighty. It’s surrendering everything I am and have and let God take control and lead me as He desires.
     So before embarking on this journey I needed to do a few difficult things. Difficult because when you’re asked to surrender something you’ve been holding on to for a while it’s really not easy to do so.

     You need strength. I needed this so bad and thank heavens I got it. So I made a choice, to not turn my back on God again. He’s been so wonderful to me, it’s overwhelming. Even on days when I thought I had my life figured out, and was in charge God was always there. I’ve had days when I told myself that I could do without God and even believed it, doubted His existence and gave some lame excuses for the same. But these days were dark, they had me in a pretty bad place; hating myself, having issues with people, dating the wrong people for all wrong reasons and so many other things that I’ll be sharing soon. We have a lot to talk about, wink!  
   As I keep writing and mostly sharing my experiences here, my prayer is that I encourage you my dear reader. That these articles and stories will live on and will not only be useful now but even years later. That they will help you who’s struggling with whatever issue in your life; especially if you’re doubting God, or continually making the wrong decision in your relationships and friendships. I am only in my twenties so really what do I know about this? Probably not much, but I believe I can help someone. Sue me.
   You see, been a born again Christian in campus is really not that easy and we all need each other for encouragement. So here’s your safe haven for exactly that.
You’re welcome honey! Feel free to reach out via my email julietm164@gmail.com and let’s interact more. Let’s do this my people,cheers!



And when you’re feeling weak and want to break, Break. Let it go. Let all the pain and hurt go away. Don’t hold on to them. They’ll only break you even more. They will destroy you instead. But while you can, and while your heart is still strong enough to be mended, then give yourself another chance. You really don’t have to explain yourself to anyone for protecting yourself from pain and toxicity. For you, do anything. Go all the way. Beyond your own imagination. Because you are a gem. You are great and you deserve only the best. While you’re standing up again, discover yourself. Learn all that you can. Listen more and speak less. Read a good book every once in a while. Listen to good music. Date yourself; tame yourself to all the places you want to. Sometimes, company is all you don’t need. Learn to enjoy your own company! It can only get more interesting, I promise. Make new friends and network! Human beings are amazing people, (I honestly don’t subscribe to what milenmials keep on saying”I don’t do people,”) bla bla bla…. The cliché phrase, No man is an island could not be any more true. We need each other. You wanna do stuff faster? Fine do them alone. But you wanna go far? Then you definitely need people. Go out there and make friends! Be kind please! I like this kne because been nice and kind to people makes me feel better:)… some kind of joy and peace is found in kindness, the new coolest thing on the block. Be you. Always. Nothing less, probably something more. But always You. Because BeYOUtiful people are amazing souls!!

Christmas Today…


I was in the middle of listening to the Preacher talk about Christmas and all the mysteries behind the birth of our Savior, when this somehow crazy thought crossed my head. For the past few months I’ve been getting ideas to write about when in very weird places; I once wrote an article while in the lavatory. 😂😂 Let’s not think about that though.
But I digress, it’s Christmas and so many good things come with it. And bad too, the bad part is probably the fact that you end up using your December salary that’s supposed to be used for the 54 or more days of January, poor us. Let’s stick to the good stuff; food foood fooood and more food! Ooh poor you goats,cows and chicken, Kenyans must enjoy.
So here I was thinking of how really Mary felt as the mother of the One True King. Like really, Mary did you know? That when you kissed your baby’s face you kissed the face of God? *sigh* The thought is just overwhelming, I want to scream. Maybe if Mary and Joseph were millennials this would be the kind of conversation they would have after the news were brought to Mary.
***Ring ring ring***
(Picks phone)
J: Hey babe?
M: Hey Joe are you awake?
J: I am now, what’s wrong! Are you okay? (Kinda worried)
M: Aam yeah,no…
J: Calm down what’s happening Mary? You sound startled
M: Guess what just happened?
J: Aaam you saw a ghost?
M: Close.. An angel paid me a visit a while back!
J: it’s 2a.m.you’re probably just dreamjng, go back yo bed Mary.
M: You don’t get it Joe!! An actual Angel appeared to me. It seemed so real!! He spoke of weird stuff though and he’s called Gabriel!
J: You sound so crazy right now I don’t even know you anymore.
M: (as if he didn’t say anything) He was beautiful_glorious even!! I couldn’t believe my eyes, ooh and ears as well. So that’s why I’m calling. Angel Gabriel said that I’ll get a son by the power of the Holy Spirit and we’ll call him Je…
J: Mary, are you nuts?? I thought you’re a virgin, waiting upon the Lord! What do you mean, you’ll ge.. A son? By, by the Holy… Whaaat??
M: Relax babe, let me explain. I know this is a lot to handle but I’m certain that the Lord chose me, and us for a reason. The way Gabriel put it, Jesus will be a really great man, he actually called him King Joe! He’ll be a special kid.
**** Hangs up****
M: Joe!? Babe?! Joseph!!
(To herself)
Okay well I bet he dosed off. I might have bored him to it. I really wish he would believe me though, this is such a big deal for me. Too bad, let me watch a movie now since I really can’t sleep.
(Inner voice) ‘Pray instead’ Ooh yeah, let me have my Quiet time instead.

***The following day***

Ringtone : Hanging on-Brit Nicole

J: Mary?
M: Yes Joe
J: Aaam I don’t know. I…
M: Is there a problem? You sound worried
J: I believe you Mary, I’m sorry I doubted you last night.
M: It’s okay, I’m just glad you do. I prayed for you and…
J: The angel appeared to me too you know
M: Really? And what did he tell you?
J: He said that I could still marry you my love. He confirmed everything you were telling me and revealed so much to me. And, Mary, I’ve never been more happy to serve the Lord. All I want is to take care of you as we prepare to receive this lovely bundle of joy that will change the world.
M: *sobs* I’m so emotional right now. I thank God for you. And as it is, I can’t wait to see this baby boy that God has promised me. Thank you so much Joseph!

Like I said earlier, this was a random thought in the middle of service. Sometimes I wish I was there 2000 years ago and see this child Jesus,who came to the earth as an innocent child and left as a criminal, because he had to bear our sins and shame so we could be free. Forever! I would fall in love with this adorable baby as I have now. And fell on my knees to worship Him as we should this season, it’s all because of him… Jesus Christ!!
Merry Christmas everyone!

Four simple rules.


It’s been a while since I sat down to write but today I’m convinced I’ll complete this piece. I missed y’all and somehow, even without putting everything in black and white, I have a lot to share! Brace yourselves.

So for the past month or so I have been redesigning myself. Working on me. It’s not as easy as it sounds but I live by this;
‘Fall in love with working on yourself.’
It’s a lot of fun, I am literally getting to know myself better. Better been the key word here. My flaws look clearer now,even those that I insisted I didn’t own,(Sorry guys).

There’s a lot to learn out there. You just need to take your time. Let me share a few of these.

1. Be kind.
Some people think that been mean and rude is all cool. You know those guys out there finding joy in one really rude response to a stranger? Such a bore. Newsflash! Kind is the new cool. It doesn’t cost a dime to say ‘Thank you’ to a shopkeeper, saying hello to the office janitor or please. See we are even advised here, Colossians 3
[12]Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.

2. Seek happiness.
          Just make sure you’re happy in this life
                                                      ~Sonya Teclai
Happiness is a choice as much as sadness is. It’s an inside job and you’re highly responsible for your happiness. But whatever you choose to be the source of your joy is all that matters. Someone once said that you cannot break a woman or man in this case, whose source of happiness and strength is in the Lord. I couldn’t agree to more. Philippians 4:4 says Rejoice in the Lord and again I say rejoice. Even when in trying times, rejoice in Christ. He is my source of happiness. Infinite joy that is for sure.

3. Be truthful.
Honesty. Pure honesty is very rare nowadays. People have all the petty reasons in the world to lie to you. And themselves as well. Been truthful to oneself enables you to be true to God as well. Sometimes I really don’t feel like having my QT (Quiet time) and I just whispered to God and instead listened to music and reflected on His goodness. I did not necessarily open my Bible or something but I still experienced the Lord’s goodness because I was true to myself. Be truthful even in your worship.

4. Silence is golden.
Know when to be silent. As much as speaking does matter (especially if you’re an extrovert like myself), listening is just as important. You learn more. And when it comes to God, it’s important to listen as much as we love to talk to Him. He listens to us right? So why not do the same for Him. He has a lot to tell us so instead of walking out immediately you’re done with your QT, sit still and listen to Him.

Becoming Best Friends with God.


God wants to be your best friend. The Almighty yearns for your friendship. This is honestly hard for me to understand but the Bible says, Exodus 34,NLT
[14]… He is a God who is passionate about his relationship with you.

God desires an intimate relationship with us; that we all know him deeply. We ways sing that old hymn, ‘What a friend we have in Jesus’ but actually God invites us to enjoy friendship and fellowship with all three persons of the Trinity. Jesus said,
John 15,NLT
[15]I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me.

Friend in this case means a close, trusted relationship.
What does it when God wants me as a friend? According to Rick Warren, author of ‘The Purpose Driven Life,‘ we learn six secrets of friendship with God from the lives of God’s friends in the Bible.

1. Through constant conversation.
To grow and develop a close relationship with God, you just don’t attend church every Sunday or have a daily quiet time. We need to share all our life experiences with him. God wants to be included in all our activities, our conversations, our problems and our every thought. My version of the Bible says “Never stop praying” in Thessalonians 5:17,NLT
Do not cease been in constant conversation with God; fill him in with all the details of your life.
I tell my best friends everything that’s going on in my life. Good or bad; once they ask ‘How are you?’ Or ‘How has your day been?’ I can’t shut up until I’m done! Haha, this is exactly what God yearns from us. Don’t just schedule appointments for him at specific hours of your day. Involve him in everything you do.
Everything you do can be “spending time with God ” if he is invited to be part of it and you stay aware of his presence.

2. Through constant meditation.
When you think about a problem over and over in your mind, that’s called worry. When you think about God’s word over and over it’s called meditation.
It is not possible to be God’s friend without knowing what he says. You can’t love God unless you know him and you can’t know him without knowing his Word. Mediation means constant thinking and reflection of His word throughout your day. It is simply focused thinking, not necessarily some difficult ritual.
When you read your Bible take some time to review the truth in your mind.
We are very well advised to do so in
Joshua 1,NLT
[8]Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.

The more time we spend meditating on God’s word the more we will understand the ‘secrets’ of this life that most people miss.

3. Choose to be honest with God.
We should be honest with God, especially about our faults and feelings. God doesn’t expect us to be perfect but he does insist on complete honesty. When you read the Psalms you find so many emotions: anger,doubts, fears, Thanksgiving and praise. This is what God expects from us. Utter honesty; even when you’re in doubt and anger and probably feeling like God is no longer on your side, go ahead and tell him. Rant him out. Do not let bitterness come between you two though, instead of hiding it from God. Tell him what it is you’re bitter about. He understands. He knows our hearts.
Psalms 139:1-2,4,NLT
[1]O  lord, you have examined my heart     and know everything about me.
[2]You know when I sit down or stand up.     You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
[4]You know what I am going to say     even before I say it, lord.
Guess what? Expressing doubt is sometimes the first step toward the next level of intimacy with God.

4. Choose to obey God in faith.
Every time you trust God’s wisdom and do whatever he says, even when you don’t understand it, you deepen your friendship with God.

John 15,NLT
[14]You are my friends if you do what I command.

We are his friends but not his equals therefore we do what he asks of us out of love for Him and not out of duty or fear. Wanting to follow Christ should ne out of gratitude for what he has done for us. True friendship is active. We act, we serve,we forgive, we love others, we preach the Gospel. All these we do in obedience out of love.
After living on earth for thirty years, Jesus was baptized to mark the beginning of His public ministry. Here God spoke from heaven saying;
Matthew 3,NLT
[17]And a voice from heaven said, “This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy.”

What had Jesus been doing for thirty years that gave God such pleasure and joy? It is summarized in a single phrase;
Luke 2,NLT
[51]Then he returned to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them.
All He did was be obedient!

5. Choose to value what God values.
What does God care about the most? The redemption of his people. He wants all lost children found!
When I make a new friend I’m usually quick to tell my other friends about them. Friends of God also tell their friends about God.
The more you become God’s friend the more you will care about the things be cares about.
Be passionate about what God is passionate about, like David said in
Psalms 69,NLT
[9]Passion for your house has consumed me, and the insults of those who insult you have fallen on me.
Make God’s agenda your agenda.

6. Desire friendship with God more than anything else.
Truth is, you are as close to God as you choose to be. Intimate friendship with God is a choice not an accident. You must intentionally seek it. How badly do you want it? Is it worth leaving everything else?
Paul was very passionate about this as clearly put in
Philippians 3,Amp
(10)My determined purpose is that I may know Him- that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him,perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His person more strongly and more clearly.

Wow, this is passion. I yearn for such passion to know the Lord.

There is nothing, absolutely nothing, more important than developing a friendship with God. It’s a relationship that will last forever. Remember, you are as close to God as you choose to be.